Most Recent 40 Tweets

Not including replies or retweets or mentions.


⬅️ New ⬆️ 🙂
⬇️ 🙁


  1. I started the year listening to Beyoncé and shaking my ass in my bed.
  2. Look at me. Living in the past. It’s still 2022 over here.
  3. I know only a few people will fully appreciate this but I have to say it: Hank Green reminds me of meyerweb. Every time I see him I think it. I just had to put that out there.
  4. A guy I went on a date with, after hearing me talk about my career history, told me I was intimidating. He declined a second date. I told my sister this and she was like, “well you are intimidating.” I swear I’m not. I’m delightful dammit 😭
  5. I promise I’m not an ass. My brain is just ✨ spicy ✨ danidonovan/1608178423515553793
  6. “Beyoncé’s husband” 😂😂😂 aka her little friend meghanncuniff/1606684371989430273
  7. My new favorite thing is completely indulging my inner child and giving little Mina anything she wants. hiddenreylo/1605968033457098755
  8. Hi. It me. Can’t get two separate meds cause everything is on back order. peymamas/1606347270596825088
  9. Oh. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. When did that happen?
  10. Had a meeting with my financial advisor and CPA to go over just how much money I’ve lost this year. Yay.
  11. You mean pretending it doesn’t exist isn’t working? sfchronicle/1605385268877574144
  12. If I get banned, it’s because I voted “yes,” he should resign.
  13. Omg the girls are fighting! *grabs popcorn* tiffani/1604600322260750336
  14. Every promoted tweet I see now is from some right-wing politician or Christian fundamentalist. 🧐🧐🧐
  15. Me: What does that mean? What does "feel your feelings" mean? Therapist: You feel them. M: I, I understand that, but how, how do I feel them? Do I rub my tears all over my face, or what do I do? T: Mina, I cannot show you everything. M: OK, well, can you show me one thing?
  16. I see Spaces is back. That didn’t take long.
  17. Airport security pulled me aside to check my bag. I think it’s because I forgot and left my manicure scissors in my makeup bag. It was my body wash. Apparently it was a little too full. TSA: Protecting us from Bath and Body Works since 2001.
  18. How you gonna overpay for something, ruin it on purpose causing its actual value to plummet, virtually ensuring it will never turn the profit you desperately need it to? Must be that genius business acumen people swore existed…
  19. Let me finish my damn website.
  20. He is such an unserious person.
  21. Once I’ve made a decision, I usually want/need to act on it immediately. Don’t give me time to overthink and talk myself out of it.
  22. I just told my friend that I was at the Mayo Clinic and she was like “is that a clinic for white people?” Plsssss I’m crying 🤣🤣🤣
  23. I’m ordering something else. randyjcruz/1603057247479037952
  24. I just cancelled an appointment because I couldn’t find my shoe. I’m struggling 😭
  25. Feeling the urge to do a “hard reset” of my life…
  26. This is passive aggressive.
    oh my god twitter doesn’t include alt text from images in their API
  27. Anytime I go to a doctor specifically because I’m in pain, they fail to prescribe to appropriate amount of meds, if I get them at all. Once they told me just to take some Tylenol. washingtonpost/1602676013569277953
  28. I need the pets on TikTok who watch movies to team up with the ones who use buttons so we can have Pet Movie Reviews™.
  29. Me to another engineer: “Why don’t you write a proposal for that and submit it to, I dunno who would need to approve that…” My manager: “That would be you.” Me: … oh.
  30. Dating as rejection exposure therapy.
  31. Most of my tech mutuals have effectively moved to Mastodon, but everyone else is still here. So my timeline here is void of all things tech and my timeline on Mastodon is all tech all the time. i/web/1600545079273222144
  32. It really could be so many people 😭 shOoObz/1600537632924106753
  33. Uh huh. I’m sick. That’s nice. This is why I don’t leave the house.
  34. End of an era stewart
    oh my god twitter doesn’t include alt text from images in their API
  35. Y’all. Noodle passed away 😭 It’s the most “No Bones” day ever.
  36. Dear retailers, You know you can sell peppermint scented items year-round right? You don’t have to wait until December. Sincerely, Someone who loves peppermint.
  37. AI turned me into fantasy characters.
    oh my god twitter doesn’t include alt text from images in their APIoh my god twitter doesn’t include alt text from images in their APIoh my god twitter doesn’t include alt text from images in their APIoh my god twitter doesn’t include alt text from images in their API