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Hey y’all. I bet you’re wondering where I’ve been. Well, see… what had happened was… I’m ashamed to admit this, but… I downloaded TikTok.
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Y’all. It’s so nice over there! No looming depression or existential crisises. Just dancing. And hot guys. Like, so many hot guys. Last week I went down the hot guy rabbit hole and suddenly it’s Memorial Day.
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See, this is what I’m talking about. I have been back on Twitter for FIVE MINUTES and I’ve already seen something that pissed me off. I’m going back.